I was told the other day that I was not an introvert… This conversation left me questioning my self-image and feeling a little abnormal. Having a strong understanding of who I am is one of my greatest achievements of my adult life. I spent too many years as an awkward teenager with little self-understanding to be questioning my self-image now. I largely classify myself as an introvert and have since felt the need to do a little research.
The Introvert's Personality Traits
Introverts have an inward focus and aren't usually the life of the party. They have a strong sense of self that can make them feel highly self-conscious around other people – making walking into a crowded room a little nerve-wracking. Introverts have a hard time being goofy in front of the camera and telling jokes to more than a couple of people at a time, but they can be extremely witty. They're less "Larry, Curly, and Moe" and more Woody Allen - but that doesn't mean introverts' personality traits are neurotic.
Introverts process their emotions, thoughts, and observations internally. They can be social people, but reveal less about themselves than extroverts do. Introverts are more private, and less public. Introverts need time to think before responding to a situation, and develop their ideas by reflecting privately. Introverts' personality traits can be passionate, but not usually aggressive.
Are Introverts Shy and Quiet?
Some introverts aren't stereotypically shy and can strike up conversations with anyone. These introverts enjoy talking and listening to people, and going to parties and events. But most introverts would rather be at home. Introverts can find small talk easy but tiring – and sometimes boring. They'd rather have meaningful conversations about the depths of human souls and minds, but find few opportunities (those aren't your usual conversations at water coolers or dinner parties!).
An introvert's personality traits aren't necessarily tentative or hesitant, but introverts do prefer to think before they act. When introverts are ready they take action!
Where Introverts Get Their Energy
Introverts tend to get their energy from within, so being with people is draining. After a day filled with people or activities, introverts tend to feel exhausted and empty. To recharge their batteries introverts need to be alone reading, daydreaming, painting, or gardening – any solo activity fills them up again. This doesn't mean introverts have to live alone in a cave in the hills or on Walden Pond; they just need quiet time to come back to themselves. The energy source for introverts is from within.
Physiological Differences Between Introverts and Extroverts
Introverts' personality traits include increased blood flow in the frontal lobes, anterior thalamus, and other regions associated with remembering events, making plans, and problem-solving. An introvert's brain is literally wired differently than an extrovert's!
Introverts in Relationships
Introverts don't necessarily have a fear of intimacy – but they can be more difficult to get to know than an outgoing, friendly extrovert. Relationships for introverts can be challenging.
My conclusion - it turns out that I am not abnormal and that I really am an introvert. I imagine that to those I am closest to and am most open with would probably not see me this way. Which is probably what caused my father to come to the conclusion that he did.
But in all honesty this whole experience has left me feeling a little isolated. Looking closely at who I am has made me realize that I do not have any close friends. That’s not to say that I am alone. I have a wonderful family. I have found my soul mate and we have a son together (the greatest loves of my life!). But still isolated.
I suppose there are few in this world who are very comfortable with who they are as individuals and, like me, don’t feel the need to fit into social norms (not that I’m antisocial or a cynics, quite the contrary in most cases). I imagine that those out there that are comfortable with who they are, do not necessarily have anything in common besides the isolation they may feel. It seems to me that we usually get along with most people, but because of the way we are, we often feel alone in even the biggest of crowds.
The Introvert's Personality Traits
Introverts have an inward focus and aren't usually the life of the party. They have a strong sense of self that can make them feel highly self-conscious around other people – making walking into a crowded room a little nerve-wracking. Introverts have a hard time being goofy in front of the camera and telling jokes to more than a couple of people at a time, but they can be extremely witty. They're less "Larry, Curly, and Moe" and more Woody Allen - but that doesn't mean introverts' personality traits are neurotic.
Introverts process their emotions, thoughts, and observations internally. They can be social people, but reveal less about themselves than extroverts do. Introverts are more private, and less public. Introverts need time to think before responding to a situation, and develop their ideas by reflecting privately. Introverts' personality traits can be passionate, but not usually aggressive.
Are Introverts Shy and Quiet?
Some introverts aren't stereotypically shy and can strike up conversations with anyone. These introverts enjoy talking and listening to people, and going to parties and events. But most introverts would rather be at home. Introverts can find small talk easy but tiring – and sometimes boring. They'd rather have meaningful conversations about the depths of human souls and minds, but find few opportunities (those aren't your usual conversations at water coolers or dinner parties!).
An introvert's personality traits aren't necessarily tentative or hesitant, but introverts do prefer to think before they act. When introverts are ready they take action!
Where Introverts Get Their Energy
Introverts tend to get their energy from within, so being with people is draining. After a day filled with people or activities, introverts tend to feel exhausted and empty. To recharge their batteries introverts need to be alone reading, daydreaming, painting, or gardening – any solo activity fills them up again. This doesn't mean introverts have to live alone in a cave in the hills or on Walden Pond; they just need quiet time to come back to themselves. The energy source for introverts is from within.
Physiological Differences Between Introverts and Extroverts
Introverts' personality traits include increased blood flow in the frontal lobes, anterior thalamus, and other regions associated with remembering events, making plans, and problem-solving. An introvert's brain is literally wired differently than an extrovert's!
Introverts in Relationships
Introverts don't necessarily have a fear of intimacy – but they can be more difficult to get to know than an outgoing, friendly extrovert. Relationships for introverts can be challenging.
My conclusion - it turns out that I am not abnormal and that I really am an introvert. I imagine that to those I am closest to and am most open with would probably not see me this way. Which is probably what caused my father to come to the conclusion that he did.
But in all honesty this whole experience has left me feeling a little isolated. Looking closely at who I am has made me realize that I do not have any close friends. That’s not to say that I am alone. I have a wonderful family. I have found my soul mate and we have a son together (the greatest loves of my life!). But still isolated.
I suppose there are few in this world who are very comfortable with who they are as individuals and, like me, don’t feel the need to fit into social norms (not that I’m antisocial or a cynics, quite the contrary in most cases). I imagine that those out there that are comfortable with who they are, do not necessarily have anything in common besides the isolation they may feel. It seems to me that we usually get along with most people, but because of the way we are, we often feel alone in even the biggest of crowds.
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